Religious Bear

One night in the middle of a darkened forest, a hunter tried to confront a huge mean bear. In his fear, all of his attempts to shoot the bear proved unsuccessful.

Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. He kept running and running until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. He looked dismayed...his hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in on him quickly, the hunter flopped down on his knees, opened his arms and proclaimed "Dear God Almighty! Please give this bear some Religion!"

The sky darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few yards short of the hunter, the bear came to a sudden stop and glanced around, looking somewhat confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you God, for the food I am about to receive..."

Haha ! A Cowboy's Guide to Life

Never squat with yer spurs on.

There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.

He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.

Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Haha ! Khasiat Telur Separuh Masak

Aziz dan Ani membawa anak lelaki mereka yang berusia 6 tahun ke klinik. Walaupun pada mulanya agak malu dan segan, akhirnya mereka membuka mulut juga menceritakan kebimbangan mereka tentang kemaluan anak mereka yang agak kecil berbanding kanak-kanak lain yang sebayanya.

Selepas melakukan pemeriksaan, doktor berkata,




"beri makan telur separuh masak setiap pagi. Lama-lama besarlah tu."

Besok pagi, apabila anak lelaki mereka hendak bersarapan, terkejutlah dia melihat ada 10 biji telur di meja makan.

"Telur ni untuk saya ke mak?", tanya si anak.

"Engkau makan dua biji saja. Yang lain tu untuk ayah
kau punye", kata emaknya.